Here’s a transcript of the conversation I had with Pavas on Facebook last night.

All of it is true, and I’m mortally afraid.

But it’s pretty hilarious too ( if you look at it from a different angle than mine ).

The talk has been slightly edited ( unchattified ), for the sake of posterity.

Me: Oye. There?

Pavas: Ya. Bol.

Me: I’m in some sort of a weird situation here. Someone gave me a miscall half an hour ago. Thinking it’d be one of my innumerable Gandhinagar-residing relatives, I called back.

Pavas: ?

Me: And no one picked up the phone. Then, about 10 minutes ago, some old lady called me from that number. And asked who I was. Without answering, I asked her who she was.

This repeated 5 times before I finally said who I was. (Namely, my name.)

Then she said that I had called her before.

I told her that I had received a miscall, blah blah. Then she hung up.

—

Me: Then she calls again, just 5 minutes before now.

Pavas: <laughs>

Me: And asks again who I am.

Pavas: <Now this guy is interested> And? hahaha!

Me: And I repeat everything I said in the call before. And then she said that someone had called her from my number, saying that his name was Akash, and he wanted to talk to Neha.

Then I asked her where she’s from.

She said, “her house”. <Determined not to reveal info. Nor am I>

Pavas: And please tell me that Neha is her hot 20 yr old daughter… <Look at this guy. Testosterone runs in his every statement>

Me: Then I rephrase the Question, saying that I have many relatives in Gandhinagar. So I wanna know If she’s one of them. That would justify someone calling me.

But she says shes from Baroda.

O.M.G.

Then she says she’ll tell the head of the family to call me in a while to talk. I say, “I have no idea who you people are, I know no akash or neha.”  I say that “Its night, I’m gonna sleep, so dont disturb me.”

Pavas: lol man… this 3rd yr chick across is staring at me coz i cant stop laughing…. hahah <see what I meant about the testosterone?>

Me: But she says NO, he’ll be calling anyway. So Im waiting now.

Pavas: Hey I wanna speak to this guy…

Me: lol

Pavas: You in the RC?

Me: Story to be continued, I’m sure. And no, I’m in my room.

DO THEY THINK IM A STALKER???

Pavas: Oi please please please conference the call next time it comes…

Or at least record it…

Me: Ok. I’ll record.

:fear: Will they send goondas to kill me?!!!

Pavas: Aane de goondo ko… we’ll have fun

Me: :fear: <I think this fat guy is nuts>

And this conversation is going on my blog. Awesome story to compete with Denny’s,stuff yay!

Pavas: Ohh yeah..

Me: I’m waiting for them to call

Pavas: Tu kar na… <Methinks this fat guy has totally lost it>

Pavas: From parth’s cell, and now actually ask for Neha. <raving mad>

Pavas: Or actually get daddu to do it… It’ll be awesome! <I almost suffered an aneurysm here>

Pavas: Gimme the number… main miss call marta hoon

Me: :fear: NO!!!

Pavas: haha

Me: Pavas-gang vs Gujju-joint-family gang :fear:

Pavas: LOL now the whole RC is staring at me

Me: gr8, now you have sumthin to fear. I was studying till now, when the joint-family-beti-protection squad chose to attack me.

Pavas: Ab dekh, the head of family will be a 120 yr old grand-grand dad who’ll give you a 9 hr lecture on what this generation has become : “humaare zamaane mein log college padhne jaate the”…

Me: lol

Pavas: :daddu voice:

Me: :haha: editing and uploading to blog…

Pavas: Try Adobe Contributor… dunno if u have it for linux…but for windows its bloody awesome… gives an interface for blog uploads… also pushes in a plugin to word to push a doc directly onto your blog! <Note the quick change in topic, the sign of a deviant mind>

Me: Fuck adobe. I’m mortally afraid here!

Pavas: Oh, don’t you worry, you’re in Pavas gang – we always win at gang wars + we got our very own Mango Dolly with us who can glue the opposition with melting all over them in this heat… <NOTE: Mango Dolly is the nickname for a certain TA whom I refuse to name here>

Me: Suggest a title for this post.

Pavas: “Gang wars”. naa…

“The Neha Effect”

Me: Nope. Different.

Pavas: The ‘miss’-ed call. That’s perfect! <Yep>

—

I’m still waiting for that call…